This might get interesting....

I think it started this morning, when I woke up smelling homemade vegetable broth. Or maybe last weekend, when I couldn't think of anything I wanted to do that was free. Or maybe today after church, when I let my husband know that I felt guilty for all this.

I am annoyed that I need to start pinching pennies. That is the reason for this blog.

I have no reason to think that I am beyond pinching pennies - most of the country is doing it right now. I have done it for most of my life (but we will get to that), but that doesn't make the feelings go away. I wish it would.

You see, fine public of 0, I chose to volunteer and get paid $40 a month for two years of my life. I get having no money. Back in those days, I loved getting creative - dental floss instead of string, simple meals, making due with what I had. Or what about even before that, in high school I was so cheap that my parents worried if I would splurge for tooth paste.

However, I was choosing that. Now, after falling in love with and marrying a man who had little financial sense in his early 20s, I have a lot of financial debt. One by one, his debts have become mine. I did not choose this. We recently moved to a new apartment with a slightly higher but still a smoking deal place in Chicago and started paying back yet another student loan making our good paychecks seem a bit to meager.

First, I must start by saying that my husband feels horrible that he wasn't careful and needed to take out as many loans as he did for school (In his defense, all the loans are student loans, 1 defaulted but all student loans - good debt right?). I feel horrible that I am not caring on the team spirit with this situation.

I hope this blog helps clear my guilt and my need to complain.

Its funny to me because I love to cook - really really love it. For years, years I have thought I should make my own vegetable broth, but when I smelled it simmering away this morning, I thought I might just lose it. All because I actually made it to save money - the $2.99 quart wasn't worth it in the store this week.

Second, I have no idea what this might become - maybe it will be me complaining, maybe it will be my coping mechanisms, maybe my way to not complain to my husband.